The View from the Booth

Is this it?

I was gonna leave it alone. The beauty of having two weeks to think about each subject is that it gives me a chance to calm down, and re-assess things in a less emotional way. But then I heard that this weekend Daft Punk were about to score their very 1st UK No.1 single. And I had to intervene.

I have long held a real love-hate relationship with Daft Punk. They’ve released lots of songs that I’ve enjoyed, from their first two albums, but there’s always been something about them as people that rubbed me up the wrong way. When they first emerged, the fact that they didn’t want to do interviews was refreshing – don’t forget this was the era when every thought that ever occurred to Liam Gallagher (normally just the same two thoughts recurring) was plastered over every media outlet in the country, so it felt good to have a bit of mystery.

Problem was I felt it turned very quickly into a shtick, and by the time Discovery came round and the robot heads came out, my thoughts were confirmed. Style over substance has always been the biggest complaint about dance music, which I don’t necessarily have a problem with. The problem is when this is combined with taking yourself too seriously. When your music is heavily reliant on sampling (see more below), banning other people from sampling your music (as they did for the very first “As heard by Radio Soulwax” record) is a bit of a pisstake. And some of the photoshoots they’ve commissioned (see above) are hardly the work of a recluse.
Hiding in plain sight is the biggest con trick of the narcissistic: “Hey don’t talk to me, I’m incognito, even though EVERYONE KNOWS IT’S ME ”. It’s the same trick Damon Albarn tried to pull with Gorillaz when he told us : “I’m sick of interviews, so I’ll invent a cartoon band to do them all for me”. This lasted right up to the point when they had their 1st no.1 single, at which point Albarn was suddenly front and centre, ready to soak up all the acclaim.

That is but one of my issues with Daft Punk – their approach to sampling being another:

The Daft Punk School of Sampling

1. Take old funk/soul/disco tune that no one has heard of
2. Replace vocals with robot voice
3. Credit the sampled record but in really small letters on the back of the sleeve so no one notices
4. Accept undeserved plaudits.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

I’m not saying they are the only artists following this model, but they have been the most successful at fooling people into thinking they’re geniuses, when in reality they’ve just put a robot donk on it. New single Get Lucky was another example of this. I was sure if I searched hard enough there’d be an old Chic B-side with exactly the same beat being sung by Donna Summer. This has yet to materialise, but the search continues.

Time for a confession. I quite like Get Lucky. It’s got that summertime vibe and easy swing, as well as a vocal that people can sing along to. It would be a good track 9 or 10, something to ease you into the end of an album. But, as a first single for nine years, I was kinda expecting more. Not necessarily a return to the halcyon house days, but something a bit meatier. The trouble is, they realised that when you have such a tight hold on your own “mystique”, and a multi-million dollar marketing budget, you don’t have to write great songs any more.

The chip-pan of hype had got so hot over the last 6 months; the drip, drip, dripping information about their new record; the list of ubercool collaborators; the advertising at hipster paradise festival Coachella; the 90-second song snippets; they knew they could throw any old scrap of potato in there and the pot will explode.

Example. I first heard Get Lucky on the same day that I discovered this song, Rain or Shine by Beat Assailant. Have a listen.

Now if I told you THAT was the new Daft Punk song, how exciting would that be? Still got that DP sound, but bringing a tight rapper with a great flow to ride against the music. Having heard this, Get Lucky just sounded flat. For the record, Beat Assailant is an American living in France. His album B is pretty good – you should check it out.
But wait….Rain or Shine was also a victory of advertising, as I found it on a car advert. How is that any different?

The main difference is this – advertising may have been the delivery method, but the music is what stood out. It took me at least 4 listens to work out which car was being advertised, in order to find out who wrote the song. Beat Assailant would not have been played on UK TV or Radio without that ad campaign. Daft Punk didn’t have to worry about that.

As of yesterday Get Lucky was the highest selling single in the UK this year. Obviously that doesn’t mean as much as it used to, but for a credible band to be able to compete with the pop muppets in the singles chart is still remarkable. But it all feels like a very hollow victory. I fear that as this is their most successful song, in 15 years time when people ask who Daft Punk were, this might be the song that comes to define them. Not Da Funk. Not Burnin’. Not even Harder,Better,Faster, Stronger.

It will be forgotten how truly revolutionary that first wave of French house was, alongside Air & Cassius – before 1997, if someone talked about French music I could only think of Joe le Taxi or dirty ol’ Serge. Or the guy who gave me my Christian name (but we don’t talk about him). The saddest part is I don’t think Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo or Thomas Bangalter really give a shit how they’ll be remembered in 15 years time. Right now they can just sit back and watch the acclaim roll in from all quarters. I might have misjudged them - They may have written the album of the year in Random Access Memories, and I could be here in 6 months time choking on my own words. But they don’t have to. Their ability to have a successful album is no longer reliant on their musical ability. Talk about Getting Lucky.

The Sounds of Now

Unfortunately due to last year’s review problems you weren’t able to find out how much I enjoyed Gaz Coombes’ solo album. The former Supergrass frontman delivered almost the perfect solo album – plenty of hints to former glories but with more than enough progression to justify not only it’s own existence, but the demise of the band. I would rank “Here come the Bombs” in the top three of post-britpop solo albums, alongside Jarvis’ Further Complications and Happiness in Magazines by Graham Coxon.

Gaz played a low key show at the Kazimier this week, and it was bloody brilliant. There was a sense of freedom often associated with those who’ve just stepped off the “Big Band” treadmill, but the most impressive element were the songs themselves. My personal favourites were Universal Cinema and Whore, which I have reproduced for your listening pleasure. Gaz mentioned in an interview that most of his album was written “beat first”, either on bass guitar or drums, and with Whore you can certainly tell. The cross-purpose rhythms really catch the ear, and Gaz still knows his way around a chorus. A potential single if not for the subject matter.

It ain’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it……..

Whenever someone uses the phrase “Political correctness gone mad”, it’s usually the prelude or postcript to a sentiment that could be described as “Racially iffy”. Well for the first time in my life, I agree with the morons. Political correctness has gone mad. Not the Idea, but in the Execution.
This week has given us plenty of examples. Let’s start with our dear old Auntie.

The decision to censor the Wizard of Oz’s “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” during this week’s official BBC chart rundown is the absolute worst kind of knee-jerk thinking. I don’t think that woman deserves any of my words so I’m not gonna make this about personal feelings towards her (although if you read between the lines there’s a clue to which side I am on), but I can understand why our state broadcaster would be nervous about celebrating open hostility. Especially to one of the most divisive figures this country has ever produced.

However, playing a 5 second snippet - and taking it out of the context of the charts and into the news in order to explain why we can only hear a 5 second snippet of A 51-SECOND SONG FROM A KID’S FILM – was always going to cause more trouble than simply ignoring the furore. Who are they protecting? Any children unaware of the context behind the song’s new-found popularity aren’t gonna say :
“Mummy, why has everyone started singing a song from 80 years ago?”
They’re kids, they don’t give a shit! Besides, three weeks ago everyone was singing “Let’s get Ready to Rhumble” - in the mind of a child there’s no difference between a song from 20 years ago and a song from 80 years ago. It”s all long ago to them. Now, the questions are likely to be a bit tougher to answer, such as:
“Mummy, if this lady led our country for 12 years and was elected 3 times, why do so many people hate her?”
Good luck with THAT one.

If they’re trying to protect the family from hearing how many people hate her, then I hate to break it to you Auntie, but that ship has sailed. If there is anyone in the Thatcher family still blissfully unaware of how their matriarch is perceived, then I’d like to order a big ol’ truck of whatever drugs they’re on. In trying so hard to appear impartial, the BBC have ended up looking like spineless, headless chickens; scared shitless of the Tories chopping any more of their budget. Which is probably pretty accurate. The eggshells upon which they’re forced to walk with every change of the political wind means this kind of thing is sadly inevitable.
I understand the Idea, but they fucked up the Execution.

The BBC are veterans of putting their foot in their mouth, but they are by no means the only ones. As usual, America had to go bigger and better.

In amongst the Thatcher squall, very little news has filtered through from across the pond recently, to the point where a lot of you are probably unaware of LL Cool J’s new song. It’s a collaboration with Country singer (alarm bells are ringing already) Brad Paisley called “Accidental Racist.
Uh-oh.
Something tells me this song won’t get as many requests as “Niggas in Paris”.

It tells the story of a Southern man who wants to be free to wear his Lynyrd Skynyrd T-Shirt, complete with confederate flag, without offending the Black guy serving him coffee. This is followed up the Black guy who wants to be free to wear his doo-rag without people thinking he’s going to rob them. Now this is not as ridiculous as it undoubtedly sounds. We all judge people based on how they look. All of us. And most of the connotations are negative, be it a shell suit, waistcoat with monocle, hoodie or Dreadlocks on White people. And despite my initial cynicism, I do believe the motives of the song are honest. This is what Paisley had to say when asked why:

“I’m doing it because it just feels more relevant than it even did a few years ago. I think that we’re going through an adolescence in America when it comes to race. You know, it’s like we’re almost grown up. You have these little moments as a country where it’s like, ‘Wow things are getting better.’ And then you have one where it’s like, ‘Wow, no they’re not.”

It’s hard to argue with that really. We’re going through similar here in Britain, as anyone who watched a game of football or Question Time in the last 18 months will tell you. It genuinely takes bravery to take a stand on a subject that so many people would rather not talk about. But it also takes subtlety, something that Accidental Racist is sorely lacking. Aside from the obvious holes in the original premise (Does EVERY Lynyrd Skynyrd T-shirt have the confederate flag on it? Why is the Black guy serving him? Why aren’t they sitting on the same bus for example?) it actually gets better/worse. LL delivers the immortal lines:

“ If you don’t judge my do-rag, I won’t judge your red flag”
and even better
“ If you don’t mind my gold chains, I’ll forget the Iron chains”.
Now I’m not exactly Lord Sugar, but even I can see that Brad is getting the better end of this deal.

To those who don’t know, the Confederate flag is a symbol of the brutal beatings, rape and murder suffered by Black people in Southern USA for pretty much as long as they’ve been there. A do-rag is basically a hairnet. It might have become popular during the prison chic boom of the 90’s, along with Timberland boots and baggy jeans, but essentially it’s there to keep your perm in place. Not exactly an even trade is it?
Can you imagine at the next World Cup, when England play Argentina in the quarter finals, Roy Hodgson calling up the Argentine manager to say “If you leave out Messi then we’ll leave out Stewart Downing”?

Is anyone willing to forgive centuries of slavery just so people won’t baulk at a few gold chains? I’ll let you in on a little secret Uncle L……… they don’t think you’re a dangerous thug for wearing gold chains, they think you’re a MASSIVE BELLEND. I suppose this is what you get when you ask for social commentary from a guy who hasn’t released one even vaguely political song in a 30 year career. Maybe Brad didn’t have Chuck D’s number. To me it seems counter productive to tackle such a complex issue in such a heavy handed way. But there are those that would argue the opposite. Some have said that it needs to boiled down to the most simple message in order to be universally understood. Because y’know, them Southerners are so dumb they wouldn’t get it otherwise.

I understand the Idea, but they fucked up the Execution.

Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. I know as well as anyone that having a great idea is the easy part – that flash of inspiration that opens up a world of possibilities. The hard part is following through on that great idea, working on it until it’s completely watertight and ready to conquer the world and buy you a ticket to immortality. That’s where most of us fall down. But that doesn’t mean we should stop trying. A great idea without great execution is more trouble than its worth.

The Sounds of Now

Speaking of judging books by covers, who knew Har Mar Superstar had an amazing voice? Back in the middle of the last decade, he was generally known for getting a recording contract by saying things that would earn most people a restrainig order. To do this while looking like Ron Jeremy’s creepy younger brother was quite an achievement. The music itself was pretty irrelevant, which was handy as it sounded like Chris Pontius’ “Party Boy” music from Jackass.

So when I heard his new single “Lady, you shot me”, it was a real bolt from the blue. Naming a song after the (alleged) last words of Sam Cooke is always going to carry a weight of expectation, a weight which Har Mar is more than able to carry. More reminiscent of the Philly soul style, with flickering keys and stabbing horns, than a generic Motown sound, there’s a level of emotion at play that I didn’t know he was capable of. There will be a whole album in this vein in the summer. I can’t wait to hear it.

Tougher, Weirder, Dreamer

In the past I’ve explained to you how my brain goes into overdrive at night (I say night, I mean whenever I’m seconds away from falling asleep, which has become increasingly around 8am), well on Monday a dreamed a music video. Almost in its entirety. This isn’t the first time this has happened. When I was at university I imagined a vivid (and probably quite expensive) video for “Micro Cuts” by Muse. It involved a kind of space war between Muse and a group of alien/villans that looked like a mixture of Chris Martin and one of my lecturers, John Manuel. It was awesome, but it didn’t really go anywhere. These were the days before Twitter, so I couldn’t inform the band that they had to hire a teenage novice to direct a million pound video for a song that was never going to be a single. This time it’s different.

This time the video was for a song that should definitely become a single. By now you should all be acquainted with EL-P’s “Cancer for Cure” album. At it’s centre (chronologically if not stylistically) is “Tougher, Colder Killer”, featuring verses from Killer Mike & Despot. The only singles to come from the album so far are “The Full Retard” & “Stay Down”, and with the recent success of his production on Mike’s “R.A.P. Music” and Despot’s forthcoming album, it would be the perfect time to bring out a crew joint.

I told him all this on Twitter, but y’know he’s a busy man and probably dismissed me as some crazy jackass who’ll say anything just to get a retweet or reply from a celebrity. But it stuck in my head.

Over the last few days I’ve thought more and more about it, and the idea has crystallised. The scariest thing is that some of the elements that I thought irrelevant have turned out to be prescient. Either I’m getting really good at shining turds or my sub-conscious is a genius. Either way you’ll get the chance to decide as I’m going to lay it all on you now. I’ve not followed the usual conventions of scriptwriting, partly because it’ll take too long and also it doesn’t give me the opportunity to explain why I have done what I’ve done. I also think this is easier to imagine for those unfamiliar with what a script looks like.

Treatment:
EL-P
TOUGHER COLDER KILLER
feat KILLER MIKE & DESPOT

Guest stars: Louis CK, Isiah Whitlock Jr, Aaron Paul

The idea of having these guest stars started out in my head as three people who look vaguely like the main protagonists, but again over time it made more sense. EL-P & Louis CK aren’t just two Ginger New Yorkers, but also successful artists who never made you feel like gaining success was their be all and end all. The kind of guys to walk away from a potentially lucrative idea because it meant they’d have to suck some corporate dick. Isiah Whitlock Jr. (Senator Davis from The Wire to most of us) & Killer Mike aren’t just overweight Southern Black Men, but they both carry an aura of confidence, and such a stranglehold on language; as though they already know exactly what you’re going to say and have lined up the perfect rebuttal. Aaron Paul and Despot aren’t just two short guys with piercing eyes and a tendency to mumble; there’s a dark yet self effacing humour that runs through both of them. For Isiah & Aaron I’m relying on their characters’ personality, but they are recognisable enough to carry the narratives involved.

Scene 1: A Basement in Detroit.

For the 1st verse, EL-P tells a story of how a vanquished enemy doesn’t bring him glory, just guilt and sleepless nights: “Grace in reverse at best it gets worse/and I wanted you to know/Since then I don’t sleep)”. The imagery is military-related, but I changed it to Hip Hop as that is EL’s battlefield.
The setting for this in the video is the final battle at the end of 8 mile, or rather the end of it. It’s a riff on the idea that all white rappers are alike, considering that EL gets compared to Eminem in a lot of interviews, mainly as they’re both white. We see Louis (dressed as Eminem) mouthing EL-P’s words to a defeated Anthony Mackie, but only as far as “…while he laughed to the gods out loud”. The rest of the verse shows the aftermath of winning; mobbed by crowds; signing contracts, shaking hands with record execs, appearing on kids’ TV shows, Cereal boxes. The final scene before the chorus is Louis standing in front of the mirror staring into his own cold, dead eyes, but he turns back into EL-P during the line “he pointed to the part of his chest that still beats”.

During the chorus we see a TV floor manager run in and hold EL/Louis’ arms down (They are constantly switching during this part) as a make-up artist draws a clown face on him, adds a silly hat and pushes him on stage.

Scene 2: A courtroom in Washington

We focus in on Isiah, as a judge, laying down the law to an unseen defendant. As we get to the line “Your Dad should be ashamed of raising you suckers man” we see that the defendant is Ronald Reagan. Killer Mike has a great song about Reagan, and is generally quite political in his lyrics.
As Reagan takes it in he stands stonefaced, almost defiant.

Scene 3: On a New York Stage

As EL-P’s next verse begins he finds himself on stage at the David Letterman show in full clown outfit, wearing a backpack and holding an AK 47. Again they swap between EL & Louis, with rage and frustration dripping from every line they spit. Both have appeared on Letterman in real life, and season 3 of Louie featured a story where he was being lined up to replace Letterman. Here the rage for EL is at having to jump through hoops just to get his music out, whereas for Louis it’s revenge after being screwed over.
As we get to the end of the verse we see the police lining up at the side of the stage ready to rush him. At the line “That Motherfucker’s no victim” we see Louis point off camera, at which point we go back to the courtroom.

Scene 4: Courtroom

This time it’s Mike in the judge’s chair, delivering his verdict to a now scared looking Reagan. He bangs the gavel down at the line “you’re a dead motherfucker”, which makes Reagan break down in tears as the bailiffs put cuffs on him and lead him away. Isiah and Mike both appear in this verse, with Isiaih delivering the line “I’m ashamed for your mothers” as Reagan appears in a red jump suit. There’s a real sense of enjoying Reagan’s suffering from both Isiah and Mike. Isiah (as Senator Davis) feels Reagan represents the old white guys who he had to suck up to for too long before he got his recognition, but the greed and corruption for which Reagan is condemned is drawing attention away from his own similar indiscretions. For reasons why Mike is enjoying this, listen to REAGAN.

Scene 5: A Rundown apartment in Alberquerque

This scene begins with Despot kicking down a door and walking into Spooge’s crack Den (Breaking Bad Season 2 Ep 6). He’s shouting the odds and busting off shots in an attempt to get back the drugs and money stolen from him, and assert his authority as a badass . At the line “I slap you for poking your nose in” Despot turns into Aaron Paul, who uses the gun to beat down Spooge’s girlfriend who has tried to attack him. Spooge points to the cash machine and Despot unloads a whole clip into it.

Scene 6: On Stage at Letterman

As we switch back to EL/Louis he’s in a stand off with a row of cops all shouting at him to drop his weapon and put his hands on his head. At this point they are switching on a line to line basis. As EL sees the people in the audience praying for their lives he starts to laugh (EL-P is an atheist) which angers the police. Louis reaches into his backpack without putting the gun down, which prompts the police, thinking it’s a bomb, to open fire. El drops to the floor as we hear the line “Better off dead than let him keep talking”.

Scene 7: On the steps outside the Courtroom

Isiah/Mike is delivering a press conference to the assembled masses as we cut to seeing hundreds of Black prisoners freed from jail. “Lord have mercy on the family and they losses” is heard to a backdrop of a Black family gathered around a grave with no name. The headstone reads “Another soul lost to crack”. There is a long held belief amongst the American Black community that the Reagan administration aided the distribution of crack amongst the poor Black neighbourhoods, as a way of keeping them down. Isiah/Mike consoles the grieving family and lays a rose at the graveside.

Scene 8: Spooge’s apartment

Spooge hits Despot/Aaron with a crowbar while he’s crouched in front of the cash machine, knocking him over and grabbing his gun. Aaron puts up his hands but Spooge and his woman begin arguing, allowing him to pick up the crowbar unnoticed and plunge it into Spooge’s foot. As he screams out in pain he drops the gun, allowing Despot to catch it and shoot them both while still on the floor. The force of the two dead bodies dropping on it causes the cash machine to smash, showering Despot/Aaron with cash and blue anti-theft dye. The line “he was told that revenge was best served cold” sees Spooge’s son standing behind the cash machine, covered in blood, looking up at his parent’s killer.

As the final chorus plays out we cut back to the Police rushing over to Louis/El’s corpse, opening his backpack to find not a bomb but a baby duck – a reference to the episode of Louis where his daughter hides a duck in his backpack when he goes to do a show for the troops in Afghanistan. In the episode the duck diffuses a potentially fatal situation, but this time it can’t save him. We then see Isiah/Mike putting the phone down in his office, before cutting to three prisoners entering Reagan’s cell with the intention to harm. A warden stands guard to make sure the deed is done.

As Mike’s final verse is heard we see Despot/Aaron wiping the blood from the kid’s face and handing him a wad of cash as he walks out the door, Letterman screaming at a worried Police chief for killing his guest on Live TV, and Isiah/Mike looking at himself in the mirror with shame for what he has just done.

END

The basic premise is that there’s a tougher, colder, killer out there than you, however bad you think you are. All three protagonists find that success comes at a price, even if their intentions are generally good.

Believe it or not, most of this came up in the dream. There were a few embellishments, such as Reagan’s sticky end, and the way that Spooge & his girlfriend were killed, but there’s also that wonderful mash-up of ideas and thoughts that our brains our capable of, and that’s why I love it.

There’s no hope in hell this video will get made (although I will be sending a copy to all three rappers). It would also be pretty pricy, as not only would Louis, Aaron & Isiaih need paying, but also the producers of 8 Mile, The David Letterman Show, Breaking Bad and probably even the Wire. Then again, they might all love it. Either way, I’m glad I’ve written it down – this way the memory won’t fade.